Favorite river quotes!
Printed From: ProfessorPaddle.com
Category: General
Forum Name: Whitewater Forum
Forum Discription: Open Discussion Forum. Whitewater related subjects only
URL: http://www.professorpaddle.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13166
Printed Date: 12 Jul 2025 at 3:12pm
Topic: Favorite river quotes!
Posted By: osmelendez
Subject: Favorite river quotes!
Date Posted: 27 May 2013 at 9:13am
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Let's be honest, kayakers say the funniest sh*t.
Like "CHUNDERED!" I can't even figure out what two words come together to make that one up. Is it 'churn' and 'thunder'? It doesn't sound like something I want happening to me. However, recently I took a swim and got recirculated in a hole. I swear, those damn holes have it out for kayakers. Once they get their white claws on one it's freaking Full Nelson Suplex time, finished off with a drop kick to the face before it spits you out! Is that chundered? Or is chundered when the same thing happens to you but you remain in your boat? Does someone have a video of getting chundered? My most favorite quote so far this year was from Chris W. as he's scouting his run down stout flows of the Class V/V+ stretch of Duckabush Creek and he points up the creek with a crazy look in his face and yells "There's some WHITE LIGHTENING in that creek boys!" Let's hear some of those favorite quotes. |
Replies:
Posted By: water wacko
Date Posted: 27 May 2013 at 8:16pm
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You can only run a drop BLIND... once.
------------- "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive." ~Howard Thurman |
Posted By: jon!
Date Posted: 28 May 2013 at 9:50pm
| While tying down boats:"that ought to hold we're only going a little ways" |
Posted By: franzhorner
Date Posted: 28 May 2013 at 10:15pm
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I heard a new one this weekend. After scouting BD, Rib says, "you want to go truck and trailer?" - meaning our 2 boat float would go one right after the other.... ------------- MORE RAIN PLEASE |
Posted By: osmelendez
Date Posted: 28 May 2013 at 11:37pm
| Lol! You be the truck, I'll be the trailer? What a quote. |
Posted By: FLUID
Date Posted: 29 May 2013 at 12:58pm
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Chunderings
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVNm98b8Tqc |
Posted By: not-very-clever
Date Posted: 29 May 2013 at 3:00pm
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"the line will become apparent" love hearing that when scouting and cant see the line very well that's such a sick vid chris! most of that is the good kind of carnage! folks are putting in an honest effort in those holes there, and pop out smiling (minus a few exceptions) |
Posted By: James
Date Posted: 29 May 2013 at 3:58pm
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"If you aren't swimming you aren't pushing yourself hard enough" I always love hearing folks say that, don't agree, but I always chuckle when I hear it. But still to this day my personal favorite has to be... "The solution to pollution is dilution" |
Posted By: water wacko
Date Posted: 29 May 2013 at 5:00pm
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"It all flushes."
"It's just a pile of fluffy bunnies." ------------- "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive." ~Howard Thurman |
Posted By: SOPBOATER
Date Posted: 29 May 2013 at 8:05pm
| I'll go first. if u hear me screaming don't go that way. |
Posted By: WhiteWaterWheat
Date Posted: 29 May 2013 at 9:04pm
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"Just follow me. 90% of the time, it works everytime!"
------------- You only get the chance to run a drop blind once. |
Posted By: not-very-clever
Date Posted: 29 May 2013 at 9:12pm
| 65% of statistics are made up on the spot |
Posted By: ThrowYaMittsUp
Date Posted: 30 May 2013 at 8:13am
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From a legendary Grand Canyon boatman: "Hey Nels, whats the line here?" "You're just gonna f it up anyway......Go in there and get pounded!" ------------- "Call on God, but row away from the rocks." ~H.S. Thompson |
Posted By: ThrowYaMittsUp
Date Posted: 30 May 2013 at 8:17am
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Also, not a river quote but it works: "I'd keep playing. I don't think the heavy stuff's gonna come down for quite awhile." ------------- "Call on God, but row away from the rocks." ~H.S. Thompson |
Posted By: JayB
Date Posted: 30 May 2013 at 10:13am
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These are from a rafting companies overview of Boulder Drop with tips for swimmers. I especially like this line: "Regardless of where the river washes you, stay positive and enjoy the zen of the sublime. Terrifying, awe-inspiring, indifferent to your suffering, the Skykomish rolls along" -"It is useless to struggle here; enjoy the Zen of the sublime." -"You will spend quality time totally submerged. Do not fear this repeated dunking. You will be just fine if you let the adrenaline still the pain of the cold water, as you turn your mind to strategic breathing."\ -"Just relax until the river washes you below these obstacles." For folks swimming at House Rocks: -"Relax and get out your E-ticket: here comes the real whitewater swim." http://www.riverexpeditions.com/boulder2.htm ------------- -Jay |
Posted By: JayB
Date Posted: 30 May 2013 at 10:15am
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Advice shouted to a guy trying to fight his way out of a wicked retentive hole after many attempts to paddle out of it. "JUST ACCEPT IT! JUUUUUST ACCEPT IT, FRIEND!" ------------- -Jay |
Posted By: JD_G
Date Posted: 30 May 2013 at 9:38pm
| Hey ThrowYaMittsUp.....is "Nel" by chance "Nelbert"? Also boated for Chilkat Guides in AK. |
Posted By: JoesKayak
Date Posted: 30 May 2013 at 9:46pm
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Me: What's this rapid up ahead Fish: Oh, it's nothing. Read and run IV- Me: Right. I'm scouting.  |
Posted By: JoesKayak
Date Posted: 30 May 2013 at 10:06pm
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More fun stuff I've heard over the years.... names withheld to protect the guilty. "Walled in, must run class I+" "Dude, where's my boat?" (after arriving at a put-in to discover it had blown off) "It's right around this bend" "you said that 10 bends ago." "when do we get to the put out?"... "you mean take-out? put out is something else altogether." "I came. I saw. I portaged." "If I swim, rescue beer first, boat 2nd, me last." "Should we tell him about the hole?" "Did anyone tell you your first time?" "The good news is you'll probably flush. The bad news is it might not happen until July." "I only have 2 paddle commands. '%@$&ing PADDLE!' and 'NO! NOT THAT WAY' " and one of my favorite lines I've heard from literally hundreds of people over the years who have come up to me at a put in on a sunny day while I'm dressed in full gear and rigging up a boat... "So, you guys going down the river?" |
Posted By: osmelendez
Date Posted: 30 May 2013 at 10:15pm
| Quote... "I ain't runnin' that sh*t." |
Posted By: osmelendez
Date Posted: 30 May 2013 at 10:24pm
| By the way @JoesKayak... freaking hilarious contribution. |
Posted By: PanchosPigTaxi
Date Posted: 31 May 2013 at 12:28am
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"Sideways happens"
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Posted By: James
Date Posted: 31 May 2013 at 10:58am
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Ok who went into the admin area and changed my name to say Jiminy Creek-it? Better question who removed the Facebook filter, I really enjoyed knowing we did not support the endless evil that is facebook.... but whatevs... |
Posted By: James
Date Posted: 31 May 2013 at 11:27am
| Filter doesn't run on the read from every word, only on the insert into the database. The read from the db doesn't run through the filter. |
Posted By: JoesKayak
Date Posted: 31 May 2013 at 11:34am
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Originally posted by slickhorn dang, joe, those bring back some great memories lol first time we elf'd the LW, got to the takeout, asked the guy taking out how it was. We were gripped, step up run, none of us had seen it before, except one guy 10 years before. Guy doesn't even look at us as he walks by with his boat. "Rocks and water, man. Rocks and water." Which was true, but perhaps neglected to mention the wood! Fish telling Jiminy Creek-it Mole he could run anything in an IK Jiminy Creek-it could kayak was another good line. that ended up being the Ashlu mine run after an all night downpour. And of course, Fish totally backed it up ... "Where's my green nalgene!?!" |
Posted By: Scott_H
Date Posted: 31 May 2013 at 2:29pm
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One that stuck with me from the late, great William Nealy:
"Believe it or not, sometime or another all kayakers experience fear…unless they're very very stupid. Fear is a perfectly natural and normal response to what is perceived to be a physical threat to life and/or limb. Recognizing the whitewater environment to be ultimately hostile to human life, it's obvious we have to learn to control fear a good bit of the time. "Good" fear makes you think…it gives you the courage to portage or the concentration to run a rapid you thought you couldn't. "Bad" fear causes panic elevated pulse, irrational behavior (such as going for when you know you shouldn't, etc.) A person experiencing a heavy dose of bad fear goes into preemptive shock (aka "going to sleep" "zombied out", etc.), characterized by numbness, tunnel vision, inability to talk or paddle skillfully, etc. Preemptive shock is your brain's way of telling your body "run this if you like but I'm gonna hide in the basement!" If you think you're out of control and you maybe shouldn't try this drop, you're probably right. Learn to recognize immobilizing fear and channel it….it means it's time to carry." ------------- “The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.” |
Posted By: franzhorner
Date Posted: 31 May 2013 at 5:43pm
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Dave Becker after cat boating the SF Skokomish:
"I don't know if I like that run, but I'll probably do it again when the memory fades" Fish trying to convince me a wine cork stuck in our blown floor relief valve was good to go for an R2 run on the Green Truss: 'It will be fine...we won't run Big Brother this time' ------------- MORE RAIN PLEASE |
Posted By: SOPBOATER
Date Posted: 31 May 2013 at 5:51pm
| use the force. |
Posted By: kurle
Date Posted: 31 May 2013 at 5:59pm
| If I die, tell every girl down there...separately...that I love them the most. |
Posted By: Tobin
Date Posted: 31 May 2013 at 10:14pm
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"I think I am still drunk" - Said by thousands
Fish "It is all class II from here" If he says this to you immediately hit a bank and scout ------------- Sure? |
Posted By: Kyle K
Date Posted: 01 Jun 2013 at 7:53pm
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From Floyd Stevens, an old GC guide, way back in the bucket boat days: "When I tell you to bail, all I want to see is assholes and elbows!"
Regarding GC raft guides (non-motorized): "There are only two kinds of guides down here: Those that have flipped and those that are going to." ------------- "I used to be somebody, now I'm somebody else." Bad Blake |
Posted By: FLUID
Date Posted: 01 Jun 2013 at 11:14pm
| After a close call..... "Well ? as long as no ones dead or pregnant.... we're good" !! |
Posted By: jP
Date Posted: 02 Jun 2013 at 1:17am
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Awesome thread you started here, Oscar!
Hard to single out any, they are all too funny Naturally my favorites would have to be the Fish-isms PPeeps cited. Wine cork! I crack up every time I hear that one. For once I'm at a loss to come up with any at the moment, but I'm sure I got a few I guess the only thing that leaps to mind is what Packy Chronan said before he got pinned on one of our Clarks Fork of the Yellowstone trips: I said, "those guys are getting out to scout" (on R. Right) "I'm going to join them" Packy replied, "Well, it's been going good so far, so I'm just gonna run it" (blind class V drop) Man, I still to this day have never seen a boat and person wedged so painfully and impossibly in a seive, bow to the sky, stern stuffed into a tear drop shaped hole in the rock(s). Houdini couldn't have squeezed down through there. Packy disappeared down the hole while his boat was still stuffed vertically, cockpit deep. He re emerged about 50' downstream. Now they call that drop "Packy's Crack", but I was there and I was calling it "Packy Packed" Anyway he was and probably still is a great athlete, but I never saw his logic in "Well, it's been going good so far, so I'm just gonna run it" (blind class V drop) just because mother nature happened to lay out a few miles of boat scoutable water just upstream. A blind horizon is a blind horizon, and you may not even get to run it once. Packy didn't. I'm just glad I didn't have to return to tell Mellisa he didn't make it out of there. ------------- 🐋🐋🐋🐋🐋🐋🐋🐋🐋🐋🐋 |
Posted By: BrianP
Date Posted: 02 Jun 2013 at 6:38am
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"Bad things only happen to other people" - Dale
"I'll probably be ok, but you..." - Dale |
Posted By: bigboof
Date Posted: 02 Jun 2013 at 6:54am
| "Dude.... We are NOT smoking any more weed until we get horse masks!" |
Posted By: AdamG
Date Posted: 02 Jun 2013 at 8:14pm
| "Never leave a river that is running to go to a river that might be running" |